Relationship Archives - New Legacy Family Counseling, Inc.

Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior (Part 2)

February 18, 2020 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

The newest episode of The Same Boat is dedicated to my dad, the 80 year old fountain of youth 💪 Thank you for staying fit and relieving me of any burden of retiring you early. Hatty Lee rejoins me to continue our discussion about parentified children. In this episode we cover topics such as: *The importance of … Read more

Surrogate Spouse, Surrogate Savior, Part 1

February 18, 2020January 21, 2020 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“You are not equipped to give your parents the love and care they needed and did not get from their own caregivers and partner,” says Hatty J. Lee, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Many of us have felt tremendous pressure to listen to our parents’ marital problems, to protect them from loneliness or worthless feelings, … Read more

The Dating Advice No One Talks About

December 11, 2019 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Tiger Woods. Amber Smith. Kanye. Bill Cosby. Lindsay Lohan. Seungri. Lamar Odom. Their sex addictions have made huge headlines and/or ruined lives. Chances are, you have someone in your circle as well who has a sex addiction. Various polls have shown that roughly 25% of females in the church self-report compulsive sexual behavior, and men … Read more

6 Ways to Avoid Regrets on Your Deathbed

November 11, 2019 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Bronnie Ware, a palliative nurse, wrote a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying. This post is an adaptation of her observations, with a bonus idea for Christians. Here are 6 ways to avoid regrets on your deathbed: Work towards YOUR dreams, not the dreams placed on you by your parents. When you … Read more

Blessed are the Peacemakers

September 27, 2019 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

I published a new episode of The Same Boat! In Episode 19, I interview Cheryl Kang Prout and Vivianne Kelly of Cordial Family Lawyers, LLP, who provide an intimate glimpse into the world of divorce mediation. Some of the questions we discuss: Are all family lawyers the same? How does divorce affect kids? How is … Read more

Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

May 25, 2019October 17, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.

I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.

The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life

May 25, 2019September 29, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?

Words that Start Fights: Always and Never

May 25, 2019September 21, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“You always do that!”

“Do what?”

“You ALWAYS make jokes when I’m trying to be serious!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You NEVER take me seriously, can you be serious for just once in your life?!”

A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother

May 25, 2019September 8, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up.

3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem

May 25, 2019August 27, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“What makes you think your father was never proud of you?” I asked a millennial man in my counseling office years ago. He was leaning over, rubbing his temples with his palms. When he finally looked up at me, eyes glistening with tears, he gave a simple answer: “Because he never told me so.”