Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT, Author at New Legacy Family Counseling, Inc.

What Christian Sex Addicts Need to Know

May 25, 2019December 11, 2018 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“I just need to pray more” This may sound like the right, spiritual thing to say, but praying more rarely takes sex addiction away. In many cases, simply praying more leads to increased resentment towards God and increased shame in oneself. Heather Seguin of Clear Choice Counseling in Upland, CA joins me in discussing what … Read more

10 Types of Sex Addiction

May 25, 2019December 11, 2018 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Wait, did I read that right? 10 types? Yes, Dr. Patrick Carnes has identified 10 types of sex addiction. This is a helpful thing! The more we know about sex addiction, the greater the chance we can treat it and get recovery. If you are curious about what type of sex addiction you or someone … Read more

Treating the Pain that Leads to Sex Addiction

May 25, 2019November 18, 2018 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Sex addiction is often a result of many years of trying to deal with emotional and relational pain. Andy Park and I discuss the effective pain treatment called EMDR when working with sex addicts. Andy is a licensed marriage and family therapist, as well as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, practicing in Southern California. Please … Read more

Why are Sex Addicts so Lonely?

May 25, 2019November 5, 2018 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Sex addicts often share that they often experience loneliness. What then happens is that they feel an urgent desire to get rid of this vague bad feeling. Porn, masturbation, prostitutes, massage parlors, voyeuring, any of these will do the trick. But then after the short euphoria, guilt and deadness set in. And they are back … Read more

Episode 014 Honor Michael

October 19, 2018October 19, 2018 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

Have you had an abortion? Whether you had an abortion long ago, or just recently, the shame and guilt can feel like it will never go away. Some women (and men) tell themselves they will take this secret to the grave. I interviewed one woman who was willing to share her abortion story. She found … Read more

Things to Ask Before Popping the Question (Part 1: Communication)

May 25, 2019October 17, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

As many of you know, I enjoy pre-engagement counseling quite a bit. If you’re not familiar with the term pre-engagement counseling (I’ll just refer to it as PEC for short), you can read more about it here. I enjoy PEC because we get to talk about topics that married people wish they would have talked over before marrying. So I’m going to start a series of short articles that highlight the key things to ask before popping the question.

I hope these will be of value to you, whether you are dating, or you’re a pastor conducting pre-marital counseling, or even if you are married and want to have more clarity about a topic.

The Worst Small Group Experience of My Life

May 25, 2019September 29, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

It’s the beginning of Fall, which means the start of my church’s small group is right around the corner. Thinking about my small group brings a variety of wonderful emotions up to the surface: laughter, support, challenge, and most of all, safety. Why do I emphasize safety? Because my small group’s safety stands in stark contrast to the worst small group experience of my life, circa 2013. So what happened?

Words that Start Fights: Always and Never

May 25, 2019September 21, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“You always do that!”

“Do what?”

“You ALWAYS make jokes when I’m trying to be serious!”

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You NEVER take me seriously, can you be serious for just once in your life?!”

A Better Way to Honor Your Father and Mother

May 25, 2019September 8, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“No, no, no ….” I groaned, as I watched a Korean drama on TV the other night. A man in his early 30’s with a modernized bowl-cut rubbed his palms together, begging his mother to let him date the love of his life. His love was a lady in her mid 20’s. Pretty, kind, intelligent, and predictably, from a poor family. The man’s mother not only refused her son’s request, but also threatened to inflict damage upon the woman’s family if her son did not break up.

3 Ways to Develop Your Child’s Self-Esteem

May 25, 2019August 27, 2016 by Roy Kim LMFT, CSAT

“What makes you think your father was never proud of you?” I asked a millennial man in my counseling office years ago. He was leaning over, rubbing his temples with his palms. When he finally looked up at me, eyes glistening with tears, he gave a simple answer: “Because he never told me so.”